Relief

So after a few days of heartache, I experienced a little relief tonight.  I stopped by my brother's place and had a chat with him (his wife was at work).  I greeted him with a hug and said I couldn't believe he was really going to be a daddy.  We then sat down and had a wonderful chat.  I learned that he and my sister-in-law did not plan this pregnancy. In fact, this greatly interferes with a mission trip in South America that my SIL was planning on taking this summer.  She would be six months pregnant when she was due to get on the plane and head down there. She has looked forward to being a part of missions in this country since she was a child.  Now she has a lot of factors to consider in deciding whether or not to take on this adventure.

So they weren't hiding anything from me.  In fact, they told me about the pregnancy almost immediately after they themselves found out.  This wasn't their choice of timing.  It must simply be God's choice of timing.

I can live with that.  Though it seems wrong that I feel better knowing this pregnancy messes with their plans as well as mine.  But I think the thing is now that it proves that they didn't betray me. 

I am so glad God understands our humanness.  Lately I wonder, why does He seem to "insist" on using ways that we simply cannot understand?  But then, He could have every reason to wonder why we "insist" on having explanations for everything He does, as if He wasn't the all-loving Creator of the universe.  We humans can be so arrogant at times, thinking we could be capable of seeing everything like He does.  He knows everything there is to know, and He loves every person more deeply than we ever could.  It actually makes more sense that we wouldn't understand everything He does if He is truly who He says He is.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.
^"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:8-9 (KJV)


These verses changed my life a few years ago when I realized that God would never make sense to me.  And that was okay.  It was a huge relief that He would not fit into the box in my mind that I was trying to fit Him in.  It was a relief that He was bigger than that and fully capable of handling what I myself could not understand. 

Thank You, God, for being compassionate and all-powerful, even though at times I cannot understand how that works.  Thank You for understanding my own limitations and having patience with me.  Thank You for having and directing good plans for me and those I love, even if at times from my human perspective they can seem more harmful than good.  You do always reveal the good when the time is right.  I love You, Lord.